The Hanging Loc Chronicles [December 2021]
The Hanging Loc Chronicles are monthly recaps of my loc journey. See October’s entry here.
I officially hit my 3 month anniversary of being loc’d on Sunday, December 5th. Lots went on, many lessons were learned and most importantly, I visited my loctician for a retwist the day after my 8 week loc-aversary on Nov 6th. She certainly had her work cut out for her with all of my new growth. I was surprised at how much they’ve grown and the confirmation of the amazing progress over time gave me the confidence boost I needed. I’m super happy with the progress and length retention.
My roots were “overgrown” and flat braided styles produced a lot of frizz. I embraced it, but with a bit of experimentation I came up with a newly beloved style I coined simply as “space buns.” The Space Buns (pending trademark 😉) were funky and able to be stylized with my crystal chopsticks. They completed a really cute look I put together with gold hoops, a bomber jacket, crop top, black jeans and my new Doc Martens.
The day finally came when I had my first retwist. I always love visiting my loctician’s salon. She creates a safe space where we’re able to catch up on all things about life, love and the intersections of Black womanhood. What made the experience all the more exciting was how my good friend came along with me. Whilst in conversation, a client came in for a loc consultation. I sat there as a living example of the amazing things that come with a loc journey and she walked out feeling affirmed that this is the right step in her natural hair journey.
After leaving the styling chair, I had a head full of freshly twisted locs braided down. I opted for this style because it’s ideal for wearing my hair in a wrap, which I foresaw doing over the next few weeks. I had recently experienced an extremely uncomfortable and violating situation a few days prior. Someone in close proximity to me was admiring the jewels in my locs, as they’d never seen anything like it before. Before I knew it, their hands graced my hair, not only once, but twice without my consent. I was too stunned to speak. Due to the power dynamics that were immediately at play, I didn’t feel empowered to say how wrong it was for them to do that. I had ruminate on it for a while and actually told a few other Black women about this experience. They all coached me on establishing boundaries and the ways I can speak up for myself in these sorts of situations should they arise again. I was not in the headspace at the time to teach a non-Black person about the wrongdoings behind touching people without their consent, but it’s something I’m working on.
In other news, I hosted a 12-person Friendsgiving celebration on November 18th in my home. Many people have a complex relationship with the “traditional” meaning behind Thanksgiving and the atrocities that took place in order for it to be established as a holiday. Friendsgiving, for me, is a time where friends and loved ones can come together and celebrate at the end of a usually hectic year.
Thanksgiving around family usually centers portion control, intrusive questions and lots of discomfort. There are many people I know of who did not grow up celebrating Thanksgiving, so a Friendsgiving celebration can be a happy medium, minus the trauma. I’m a non-meat eater, but I took on the task of preparing a full spread, some of which included a turkey! I called in people from my close-knit community that walked me through the steps to assure I appeased all dietary restrictions. Cups were filled, plates were overflowing and to-go boxes were stuffed at the end of the night. The praises were sung and each attendee walked away with a satisfied pallet, a full belly and inquired as to when I’d be throwing the next party.
I look forward to entering the thick of the holiday season full of compassion and grace. I, among many others, are dealing with so much in the outside world and in our personal lives. I’m doing my best to maintain my peace through it all. I’ve embarked on some cool projects, some of which I’d love for you to check out. I was featured on the Cultivating H.E.R Space podcast, which was a great opportunity to talk about my experiences with transracial adoption. December is going to be a fully packed month, most importantly being my 25th birthday!
