Messy Songs
I love hearing about a messy love affair. Music is the gateway to our deepest feelings, and while some of us keep those sentiments locked away in a journal, some choose to publish it in a song. There are so many “messy” songs to choose from. My personal taste skews towards R&B, Neo Soul, hip-hop and pop, respectively. A “messy” song is defined here as a song that takes place around some sort of affair or secret rendezvous. Unfortunately, most of the songs listed here center heterosexual relationships, but these scenarios can happen to any gender.
Alas, these are some of my favorites…
She Don’t Have to Know — John Legend
The messiest of the mess! I truly love this track for some reason. I suggest that the full lyrics are read along for this song because they are gold. Here are some of my favorite lines…
“When I meet you I got my shades on to cover up my eyes. I’m hoping that nobody sees me passing by through my disguise.”
“I know you got a little secret of your own. “Then you ask me to sneak out of town for just a day or three. Go to DC and hold hands publicly all through the streets cause they don’t know you and they don’t know me…”
“Though you give a lot of love to me, girl, I know I’m not the only one you see…”
I would love to talk to John Legend about several of his songs and this is on the top of the list. It’s so beautifully sung, but extremely messy. He walks us through how he is in a relationship with someone in secret. “You sneaking out with me while your man’s at home. You know you’re wrong, but it’s so strong, still carrying on.”
He meets up with her on the other side of town wearing sunglasses, hoping that nobody sees him passing by through his disguise. Why you gotta be so loud, John?! There are so many instances similar to this that go on everywhere we go.
“But damn it’s so stressful doing the dirt we do
So sad but true”
He doesn’t want to let her go, but he knows that they each have their own partners.
Triangle Love — Miguel
“What does it taste like?”
“It tastes like you but sweeter…”
Triangle Love is the inspiration behind this article. I’ve listened to it over 75 times at the time of writing this, and I have no plans to stop. I would love to hear more about Miguel’s creative process behind the whole song. It features a scene from Closer, a 2004 film by Columbia Pictures, which starts at 2:09. It’s an intense conversation between two lovers entering a home where the woman had just been intimate with someone else. She speaks with a low tone as if she’s uncomfortable answering his invasive and stern questions.
“Cause he loves you, he’s my best friend, but you love me. You’re just stuck in between…”
I had this playing on full volume one Saturday morning in August 2021 as I pulled up to the flea market in Berkeley, California. I was concentrating on backing into my parking spot and didn’t realize that the car next to me had their windows down. The scene from 3:11–3:40 was on and the people surrounding the lot could hear it loud and clear. I felt a bit embarrassed, but I got out of the car and went about my business. I could tell they were asking themselves what the heck I was listening to. Oh, well.
“You keep tradin’ my conscience to copulate, but every time, it feels like faith. Oh, my, I know you’re tired of tip-toeing around the truth. Every night, here we are.”
Here is a reference to John Legend’s aforementioned She Don’t Have to Know as Miguel mentions them having to meet in secret. He is in a situation where he loves someone who is already in a relationship, who in this case, is his best friend. There’s a certain thrill (which also happens to be a song by Miguel) that comes with being in this secret relationship. They relate together on a deeper level while having pillow talk after sinning together. “Our silence is golden.”
The scene from Closer sheds light on what could happen should either or both of their partners find out about this. The unfaithful nature of both of their actions highlights the guilty pleasures we find when we do something that feels so good but also knowing it’s naughty.
“That’s the spirit, thank you. Thank you for your honesty, now fuck off and die…”
Me and Mrs. Jones — Billy Paul
“We gotta be extra careful that we don’t build our hopes up too high cause she’s got her own obligations and so do I.” Billy Paul’s 1972 hit single was the biggest success of his career. It remains a timeless classic, as the 4:44 second song takes us through the quandary that Mrs. Jones and Mr. Paul face. “We meet at the same cafe, 6:30-. I know she’ll be there, holding hands, making all kinds of plans, while the jukebox plays our favorite song.”
“Tomorrow we’ll meet at the same place, at the same time…” Oh, the excitement. These sort of affairs make your stomach fill with the anticipation of seeing that special someone. I had a situation where I’d meet my love interest at a sacred space outside of our respective cities. We literally met at the same places at the same times almost everyday. The relationship was best kept in private. I remember the anticipation I had as I anxiously sat behind the steering wheel at all hours of the night and day waiting at red lights. I figured out the fastest, slowest and most crowded routes to these special places.
How romantic?! When I hear the song, the image of two secret lovers looking intently into one another’s eyes comes to mind. The excitement from driving to see the forbidden lover to getting out of the car and spotting them through the cafe window must bring butterflies to their stomach. The other patrons must have no idea what’s going on at the moment. “We both know that it’s wrong, but it’s much too strong to let it go now.” It seems as though they care deeply about each other, but don’t want to compromise their respective “obligations” as Paul puts it. The listener can assume that their respective obligations pertain to a marriage or some sort of committed, romantic relationship.
One Mo’ Gin — D’Angelo
D’Angelo is meeting up with a former lover to reminisce. The opening beat brings the listener into a distant conversation with slight giggles and harmony. He remembers the multifaceted relationship they had and the precious memories they shared.
“I’d love to kiss your lips, baby, once again”
These reminders have D’Angelo admitting how he never forgot about her and that he’ll always be there for her should anything change. He’s got his own dealings as does she, but it’s nothing like they had with one another.
I know you got someone and I got somebody too, but I’m unhappy and I miss the shit we used to do…”
Cold Outside — Ari Lennox
Cold Outside starts off with a muffled, sort of old school vinyl feel. It sets the mood of a late night scrolling online, fuzzy socks on and a warm beverage within reach. That special person’s story pops up, prompting the feeling of wanting nothing more than having their presence here and now…notwithstanding their current relationship status.
“I heard you got a girl though, what’s it got to do with me? Oh, she don’t have to know…”
Okay, Ari! I see you’re ready to risk it all! 😉
“I’ll meet you, quarter to three cause you know my roommates ain’t home…”
Boyfriend #2 — Pleasure P.
Pleasure P was a member of Pretty Ricky, an early 2000’s R&B group from Florida. He went solo in 2007 and released the EP The Introduction of Marcus Cooper. The eponymous EP featured Boyfriend #2. The 3:31 minute song opens up with Pleasure P expressing the ways in which he wants to make his partner feel good. “Turn around, let me lick you from your neck down to your navel.” He suggested that she call him when her man isn’t around so he can do the things that her main fling fails to do.
I’m boyfriend number 2
Cause the first one he don’t really seem like he know what to do
I’m boyfriend number 2
And I know you like it freaky so I’m gonna give it to you
Pleasure P seems to focus on his partner’s…pleasure. :) “Second place always got a whole lot to prove,” which he takes seriously. He might want to hit up Ari Lennox’s phone for whenever it gets too cold outside…
